Have you been disappointed?

Have you ever found yourself feeling disappointed, let down or had a promise broken?

We all experience disappointment one way or another; when people let us down, when we let others down and when we disappoint ourselves. Disappointment can result in us feeling a like a failure.

Do you feel like a failure?

It’s like the diet we start every Monday; we eat lettuce for breakfast, lettuce for lunch and we’ve totally caved in by teatime and we’re eating like food has gone out of fashion.

Have you ever put yourself in this position? Have you ever set yourself up for a fall? Feeling like a failure because you've promised ourself something you can’t achieve. Our expectations and others expectations of us, can be too high, so just because you don’t do something doesn’t mean you are a failure. We can learn a lot through our disappointments.

Have you ever made an inner vow? We can do this when we say ‘I’m never going to let someone get close to me again, so nobody will never hurt me’ or ‘I’m never going to end up like my Mother/Father’.

I checked out the word disappointment in the dictionary and it says ‘it’s an emotion we feel when an expectation is not met’.

Have you experienced disappointment? I have too many times to count.

From a young age I can also remember being let down, lots of broken promises and I can also remember feeling that I was the disappointment, I didn’t seem to ever get it right or that I was good enough.

When disappointment becomes normality in our lives we can learn to accept it and even expect it to happen.

When I met my husband he was a very successful businessman and he introduced me to the finer things in life and we had a very luxurious lifestyle. And like most couples when they first get together and fall in love, we made many wonderful plans for the future, we dreamt big
dreams.

Unfortunately due to the financial climate we lost everything; our very large home, our expensive sports cars, some personal belongings had to be sold to make ends meet. Our big dreams disappeared and we were living in everyone’s worst nightmare. I was heartbroken, hurting and so disappointed, 'That was an understatement'. My husband made promises to me that he couldn’t keep.

Being on the receiving end of a broken promise isn’t a nice place to be... it can leave you full of bitterness, resentment and anger. Are you bitter and angry?

I always try and keep a promise because I know the pain of a broken one. When I became a Christian and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour I traded my anger, bitterness and resentment for joy, contentment, peace and forgiveness.

YOU can only experience peace, contentment and joy through knowing Him.

I have learnt that Jesus is the only person who will NEVER disappoint you. He will never let YOU down or break a promise. The Bible is full of promises and He keeps every one. WOW!!

Those promises are for YOU, those promises can heal. You just need to believe them.

The Bibles says:  For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Are you a people pleaser?

Some say that people pleasing is "The disease to please," and can become an addiction.
Just as a drug addict seeks drugs, a people pleaser seeks approval.

Do you seek approval?

Have you found yourself; buying gifts you can’t afford, running people around all hours of the day,
doing someone’s ironing when your own looks like the ‘leaning tower of Pisa’ or babysitting 20 kids so all your friends can all go out together without you?.

We should all try and help our family and friends and make them happy because we love them and give for the pleasure of giving. But, the need to please others at all costs and being everything to everyone is an impossible expectation and can be completely exhausting. These can be the actions of a desperate person, someone desperately needing to please, which can often leave us being taken for granted.

Some people pleasers will do anything, say anything and go anywhere to please, that’s a very dangerous position to be in. Don’t you think? I can remember being in an environment where I was so desperate to please, that I would volunteer for everything, even knowing at times I had no time or no energy to do it. I have even changed my personality to be liked and fit in, this sounds crazy!  But I so needed their acceptance and approval.

I was desperate to be valued and liked!!  I have done things I really didn’t want to do, I’ve said things I didn’t mean and gone to places didn’t want to go. And, I still found that there is ‘no pleasing’ some people. 

Do you feel you need to please?

The trouble with being too nice all the time is that you can't be yourself any of the time.

Why does a person feel the need to please?

Some of the reasons are, to gain acceptance, to feel loved to be valued, to feel secure and have a sense of belonging.

From a young age I was clearly aware I wasn’t good enough and had it drummed into me that I was stupid and useless. I grew up desperate for approval and acceptance, believing that I had to earn it.  Sometimes these experiences, this compulsion, this mind-set of earning love and acceptance can
become impossible to stop.

Do you strive for perfection? Do you try and do what is right? Do you never give offence? Do you
suppress anger? Are you hard working? Do have a problem saying no?

Such a compulsion can have serious physical and emotional consequences. Are you tired of trying to please? Does criticism cripple you?

I was afraid that if people didn't need or like me, I'd be expelled to the dark abyss of loneliness and be the subject of their gossip. I was afraid of rejection!!

I have discovered that not everyone is going to like you, and that’s not YOUR fault, it’s just life. When God’s love and acceptance flooded into my life, I received and experienced His forgiveness; I knew I was loved, accepted and free. I am now free to be me.

The Bible says;  So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8 v36.

Would YOU like to be free, so you can be yourself?  God doesn't NEED us to work for His love & acceptance. We can’t EARN His love (it's already been bought). It’s from having
faith in Jesus.  God paid the price by sending His son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins so you could have the freedom to be YOU. He loves YOU.

The Bible says; "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8v 32

Don’t say ‘Yes’ when you mean ‘No’.... You can do it!!

You are Loved, Special and Worth it!!!

Are You Beautiful?

What is Beauty?
.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

I suppose it all depends on what beauty means to you and what you perceive as beautiful. What is beauty? The dictionary says beautiful means having qualities that delight the senses, especially the sense of sight and a combination of qualities that pleases the intellect or moral sense.

Who determines how beautiful we are?

Well,” Hollywood” & “Hello” magazine say it’s ‘Perfection’….The size zero figure, perfect skin, the white veneered smile, a wrinkleless face, filled lips, a lipo-sucked body and an enhanced
bust. Sadly, most of these images are air brushed so the perfect are not even perfect. The pressure these images put on us and our children are immense.  Do we really need another reason not to be happy with ourselves? It’s become the day of the crash diet and boot camp.

I believe beauty is not just on your face or in your wardrobe but it’s found in acts of kindness, kind words, it can also be found in a smile, your smile. Beauty is the combination of all the qualities of a person, what do you think? Beauty comes from within. Is your heart beautiful? Do you have beautiful qualities? If you looked inside your heart,what would you see? Do you have ugly thoughts? I know YOU are beautiful whatever opinion you have or whatever anyone tells you, because YOU are made in the image of God.

Genesis 1: 27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female hecreated them.

Beauty seeps out of the heart. Before I met Jesus my heart was very ugly, not pleasing to the eye!! When I asked Jesus to come into my life, I experienced His forgiveness He wiped away my sin and I received some major surgery on my heart.

God is my consultant and He transforms my heart daily.

Do you need heart surgery?

What seeps out of your heart bitterness, resentment hatred, pride, unforgiveness, and pain?

We can so easily judge others by the way they look, Do you judge a book by it’s cover?

So how can we be beautiful, if by the eyes of Hollywood & Hello, when our teeth are slightly discoloured and wonky, if our skin is a bit stretchy and the wrong shade and those size 12’s are a way too tight? Or if your motivation for certain things isn’t so pretty. Stop and think, you can stop and change. We need to stop checking out plastic surgeons and consult The Master Surgeon. Hey, it doesn’t require a credit card and won’t leave you in debt!! He’s already paid the price. God sent His son, Jesus to die so are hearts can be cleansed
and healed. God made my heart beautiful. He can make your heart beautiful too, just ask Him. Beauty comes from within…..YOU are beautiful!

1 Peter 3: 4-5 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

 

Are you wearing a mask?

Halloween has just gone and we saw all the kids in our neighbourhood running around the
streets and knocking doors wearing costumes and masks. If you noticed whilst shopping, the shops were full of party food, treats & candy, decorations, and of course, dressing-up costumes and masks. The masks were available in all shapes and sizes.

It doesn’t need to be Halloween for us to wear a mask. Have you ever found yourself in a situation or circumstances where you’ve had no other choice, but to put a mask on? I certainly have. We can, hide behind a smile, make-up, careers,clothes, possessions, performance, busyness, family your lifestyle? Guess what? I checked it out in my dictionary and a mask is any covering for part or all of the face worn for amusement, protection or
disguise. Very interesting don’t you think!!

Are you wearing a mask?

Why do people wear masks? Perhaps you are wearing a mask? We do it to pretend to be someone we’re not, to protect ourselves from hurts and disappointments or to hide our
pain. Sometimes we wear masks because we feel that the real us isn’t worth knowing or isn’t good enough. I have worn many masks at different times in my life for a variety of reasons. When I had Post Natal Depression, it was a definite mask wearing time for me. I can remember looking into my eyes in the mirror and I had no idea who was in the reflection. I had disappeared, but Istruggled every day to be the Wife, Mother, Daughter and friend everyone expected me to be. I cried myself to sleep most nights.

How about you?

In fact, at times I’ve deserved an “Oscar” for my award winning performances…. We can wear our masks for so long that sometimes we can end up forgetting the person we’re pretending not to be and forget what is really underneath. YOU. It’s often easy to wear one, even in front of your nearest and dearest without them even knowing. Are you struggling today?

For those of us who are mask wearing experts, it is extremely draining and exhausting. I know that for many of you, it can be difficult to find a safe place where we can be the real you. No matter how good your mask is or how real your performance, there is One person who knows exactly what’s going on behind it. That’s God. It’s time to take them off ladies and gentlemen. I encourage you to start being the real you today. God knows the real you because He created you, the bible says: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; yourworks are wonderful, I know that full well”. Psalms 139: 14 .

I have discovered there’s no need for masks with the Lord, as He sees straight into your heart. He knows exactly what you’re hiding and wants to take care of it, enabling us to throw our masks away.

If your mask is becoming too heavy to wear, Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yokeupon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you willfind rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

YOU ARE SPECIAL, YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE WORTH IT.